A letter to a lost love

Dearest Brandi,

Today, after 7 years of being stubborn and fighting you have decided to be at peace. I hope that your soul soars after these long years.

I would like to put out there that you didn't have to wait till this morning, because my birthday wish was simply that you not hurt anymore. And this morning I got the call that my birthday wish had come true.

You are an amazing woman, my dear! Your heart was full of love for everyone that entered your life, from the woman trying to find herself in Hawaii, to the woman who was your rock for the final of your journey with the cancer.

I have so many thoughts to write but they don't want to come out apparently.

Te Amo.
Ally

To those friends and family reading:

B wanted her life to be celebrated in the end. So I ask that you leave a comment on facebook either on her page or a comment to this post about a good memory you have of her.

She truly was an amazing woman.
Love & Blessings,
Ally

Picking of the wild donkey

The riding of the wild donkey is something that I dream of doing. I want - no wait - I need to ride the wild donkey! My dreams deserved to be lived out! And by riding the wild donkey I will achieve my dreams!!!

Now you may be asking "what in the world would this woman want to ride a wild donkey?!" Well the answer is simple. I don't. Riding the wild donkey is a metaphor created by Leonie Dawson creator of the Goddess Circle And you can read about the wild donkey ride here: http://leoniedawson.com/the-wild-donkey-secret-to-getting-stuff-done/

My wild donkeys are named Doula and Apothecary. I realized today while chatting with my sister Goddesses that I don't have to pick one or the other! I can pick both!!! Huzzah!!

So my first action for each one:

Doula: I will talk with my husband about finding the funds for the certification course.

Apothecary: I will post on the blog directions for a cough & cold syrup. And I will find another recipe to try out in our home!

I'm jumping on!! Watch out world!!!
Blessings & Love!!!
Ally

Welcome Autumn!!

Welcome to the Harvest Moon, Autumn, Fall, and Beautiful Goddess of the Harvest!!

So here I sit in my kitchen watching the wind blowing and simply being amazed at the ebb and flow of the seasons and the year.

There is much going on in my head right now and I apologize if this is a bit of a crazy post as I am simply going to let it come out.

My son's birthday is in 11 days and he will be 1. I can't believe that we are here at a year later already. We all talk about a year like it's a long time but in less than a year of marriage I gave birth to our son and we even bought a house - which I am ashamed to say we did NOTHING to (except finish the big room in the basement - hehehe).

I have a job interview tomorrow morning which I am not too excited about.. I want to be home with my son and yet still bring in a substantial amount of money to feel like I contribute to the household. My darling husband while trying to let me live my dream has become an asshole and not in the good sense so I must go back to the "norm" of having a 9-5 (well in my case a 9-6). I am not too happy about it..

My body is changing itself over to the winter stage. My skin is getting dry and my toes are always cold..

I want to feel like I am not lost. I want to be on top of our finances, on top of eating & being healthy. I want to have a great relationship - emotionally & sexually - with my husband! I feel like I walk such a fine line with him sometimes it doesn't seem worth everything I have gone through!

I want to find that job/career/calling that I can put all my passion and energy into. I am a self proclaimed workaholic and the fact that I can't find something that makes me glad to wake up every day is starting to wear me down. Like I will never find what I am "destined" to do!

Oui! Ok so I am not too upset - simply lost. I am trying to have a positive attitude. Looking at this as the start of my latest adventure. If/When I get this J.O.B. I will donate $25 every check to Kiva to help someone with their dreams.

I am also going to buckle down and read the biggest book in my library, Solitary Witch by Silver Ravenwolf. I hope to have it finished by the end of the year, which means I have 91 days to go! Currently, I am on page 19 and there are 574 pages.

Ok, so I want to end this post with something productive. Here are my current goals in a list.

• Get on top of bills
• By getting a full time job I will accomplish this.
• Give to Kiva with $25 donations to others' dreams around the world.
• By putting it as the FIRST item on our budget it will stay as the top priority.
• Read Solitary Witch by the end of the year.
• By reading 7 pages a day I will have this achieved by January 1st, 2013!
• Stay on top of washing dishes and keeping the kitchen picked up
• By doing dishes every night before bed and taking the trash out and filing papers daily, this can be accomplished.

Alrighty then! Time to bust some tushie and get to work! I send blessings to you all!

Love & Light!

Ally

Health and family

So, today my priority for the day is my husband who is getting a colonoscopy with biopsies. This is a follow up from a few months ago when he had lost about a quarter of his blood volume.

He is very stressed about going in again because he hasn't had to worry about his health for awhile (with exception for the occasional flu).

I know that my presence helps but I also know there is a great deal of memories that he deals with when he comes to a doctor's office/hospital.

Here's to hoping we get good results...
Blessings and love
Ally

Creating a routine (that doesn't bore me to death)

So, I'm a gypsy at heart and the idea of being in a routine makes me want to scream!

However having a 10 month old kind of demands a routine! Therefore I have been searching high and low for routines and schedules that will work for my son and me. My husband kinda runs on his own time so I'm not too worried about including him.

The must haves are:
•flexibility
•house cleaning in small bites
•getting us out of the house daily
•exercise for mom, baby, and doggy
•not spending too much money every week
•giving EJ time to learn new things
•time outside (weather permitting)
•flexibility for my tiny part time job
•time for me to be creative an inquisitive (this one is a must have even if I'm staying up late to do it!!)

My many must haves kind of get me overwhelmed but since tomorrow is Sunday, I'm hoping to get the schedule together to start Monday. Eek!

Of course I have nothing together or with me (I'm not at home). But I'm hoping to get it together plus get some bills out Monday morning when my DH leaves for work.

I am going to try tomorrow to get up early, make breakfast, and hopefully get my kitchen cleaned (cause it's driving me bonkers!!).

I'm going to try to check in tomorrow after I get off work.

Have a blessed Saturday evening!
Peace
Ally

Starting a business

I've always had this dream about having my own business. Now as a mother and wife I'm finding this desperate need for it as a way to have some "mommy time".

I've decided to start Blair Apothecary, first, as a online business and then work up to a brick and mortar store eventually.

So now is the time where I go about learning EVERYTHING that I can about salves, tinctures, and the like.

I also need to work on learning everything I can so I have something to put into an e-course that gives people what they paid for!

So there ya go my amazing to do list! Create an AMAZING and healing business!

Finding my inspiration in my life - spiritually and creatively

It's been about 8 months since I posted last.. At this point in my life I am finding that I have a lot on my plate. I am a mother, a wife, a homeowner, a daughter & granddaughter, an artist, and a budding business woman... Oh and a stay at home mom with a part time job at our local movie theater!


In all of this I have these - we can call them "wishes" because if they were goals I would actually be working towards them - for my life and that of my family.
Wishes
1. Eat better
2. Live on a budget that inspires you and is appropriate for your income!
3. Get more exercise!
4. Teach your son (he's almost 7 months)
5. Help my DH find is happiness in his career (of his choice)
6. Make the house and garden AMAZING!!
7. Find your religion again..


So that is just a few - but important - of my "wishes". I am finding that I am drawn to working on number seven because I feel as though I will accomplish some of the others in the process.


So. Religion.


When asked what religion I am for years I have told people that I am Pagan with a hint of Buddhist. I am drawn to the energy of Mother Earth but the peaceful ways of the Buddha. But in the last few years I haven't been a very "active" participant... And to add to it - I have had to keep any "activities" quiet from my family (those who don't live with me) because they are all Christians who don't approve. ((*sigh*))


And currently I am not even entirely sure what it is that I am looking to find from my religion or spirituality...


I guess I am going to need to do some visualizations and some meditating and thinking on all of this. So for now, off to bed.


Sweet dreams my darlings! <3
Ally